"I told you so."

The situation with that guy.

I was told by practically everyone I knew that it wasn't the most ideal situation, but as long as I didn't get hurt and I was happy with the situation, then great.

But what, I'm like a month into this arrangement kind of thing, and I already feel hurt. It's over something so pathetic as well but it's my own fault because I knew I shouldn't have got attached but I did. Not in the sense that I wanted to actually be in a relationship or wanted to see him or speak to him all the time. But in the way that seeing him was the only thing I looked forward to, and if I got a text I'd really hope it was him, and if it wasn't, my heart would like sink to my foot.

I had to change when I could see him because of a few reasons and I apologised for this and asked if he was free Wednesday (tomorrow). He text back about two days later and said he wasn't sure when he was free in the week and would get back to me. He still hasn't got back to me and it's really pissed me off and upset me. I know we are using each other but I feel like that is just plain rude and just cheeky. It's not hard for him to let me know when he's free or if he wants to meet or not. Everything always seems to be on his terms.

Ugh, I just feel really annoyed. I think in a way I kind of wanted it to go somewhere. Since I last said I didn't want a relationship, I've kind of changed my mind. I wouldn't actually mind one. In fact I'd really quite like one. But not with him. But I still wanted it to go somewhere. I don't understand my own feelings! Also, I really really like a lad from uni. I've not felt this way about someone since my ex when I was 14. In fact it is the guy I mentioned in this post back in October. And to be honest, he is the most lovely lad I have ever met. Again, my heart sank to my foot last month when I found out he has a girlfriend - who he met at uni. UGH.

That's how my love life is. Not great, but never mind.

Jazz