My holiday tips to you.

Right now I will be in Menorca with mother goose (what me and my brother call her - weird I know). Finally reunited with the sun! Hopefully this will post at 6pm BST(?) on Sunday, so I will most likely be having a nap in the room at this time (it's always tiring sunbathing all day). So anyway, I thought I would share my holiday tips with you! (If you have any common sense you will not take half of these tips away with you.)

The beach.

If you don't like packing - don't pack. Simple as. Your mum or whoever you live with will start to stress out because of all the clothes everywhere, and eventually they will pack for you.

Left for my mum. This is only half of it... Oh and there's my brother's pull up bar, in my doorway. Cheeky. It does come in handy.

Be naughty and be a rebel. Don't pay for holiday songs for your iPod. Download them illegally. (Yes, hate on me for this, but I can't afford to pay almost £1 per song to go towards a singer already rolling in it.) I downloaded lots of 80s songs this year. I wish I was born in the 80s. Such better music. & lots of Florence & the Machine. And Bon Iver. And Birdy. 

If someone on the plane reclines their seat back a little too far, constantly faf about with the magazines and shit at the back of their chair. "Accidentally" kick it every now and then. Complain loudly to your neighbour that the arse hole in front of you is quite simply being an arse hole.

If you go away with a parent, don't let them speak to anyone abroad. For instance my mum will ask someone: "DOOO. YOOOOOOOU. KNOWWWW. THEEEE. TIIIIME? *taps wrist*". Their reply: "Yeah, it's 3.30" - they turn out to be English. How embarrassing. Just keep parents away from people. It will protect your sanity.

Do not in any case, jump onto a lilo in the pool. It will slide out from underneath your arse, fly up into the air, and land on someone. Yes, that was an awful experience.

Always check your bikini top when coming out the water. Last year I gave people a small eyeful. Woohoo, where's the nudist beach?

If you like to people watch, keep your sunglasses on. I am a dedicated people watcher. Always doing it. However sometimes I don't realise how long I've been staring at someone, and it's worse when you don't have your sunglasses on and you're scowling at them for a good five minutes like a psychotic stalker. (However isn't it awful when you're people watching on holiday and you suddenly come across  a woman with her bare knockers swinging about, and an old man in very tight speedo's? Uch.)

Hope you're all well and enjoying the holidays!

Keep up to date with me on Twitter because I only have one more scheduled post:)

Jazz

(Oh and I apologize I didn't get round to looking at many of your blogs because I've been pretty busy, I'll be back to normal in a week:))