Dear Diary,
Omg, so much has happened :|
Well, last week, Matty was hardly talking and we was hardly speaking at all, and I was really trying with him but then I just gave up, so I told him it was over (last Saturday), and then I felt like pure shit because I didn't want it to end with him, but then on the Sunday he was hardly talking on MSN and then after two hours I'd changed my dp (display picture on MSN) and he popped up saying "hello miss sexy dp" and I was like LOL :D, then we went on cams and he was miming this big paragraph, and asked him what he was saying and he text me this huge long paragraph (which I wrote out but it is huge, but basically asking to get back together and said he had 'fallen for me' uch!).
So we got back together on the Sunday, and I thought everything would be okay, except it wasn't. I text him, and he'd hardly text anything back. But I really thought it'd work, so I kept writing in this little book thing for his birthday (I got him a blank book and was filling it with our memories and shit like that to give to him for his 17th) and then this Saturday just gone, he came on msn and this is what he said....
J: Heyaa x
M: Hey hun, you ok?
J: Yeah I'm great thanks, wbu?
M: Good, yeah I'm ok tar
J: Goood :D
M Infact no I'm not, it's over Jazz
So that's that =/ I seriously needed to cry but my mum and gran were in the room. Everyone has cheered me up since then and people have been making me laugh to make me feel better, so I guess I've been okay, I mean Matt messaged me sayin sorry and askin if we could still be mates but I was just dead off with him. I don't think it's hit me though. I still have really strong feelings for him tbh. I just need to get over him. Hmmm.
AND I am so annoyed. I normally get free texts at the beginning of every month but I didn't this month and I never even realised. So they have taken £14 of my credit =O I am SOOO pissed off.
And I'm going on hol on Thursday.
BYE xx
----------------------
Honestly, I'd have loved to have put in a diary entry about something else, but all my entries were about him, and that was the shortest one! And I stopped writing in my diary when I was 15, when we were 'officially' going out. We were then together for about 6 months and I ended it haha! But we got back together a week later after sorting things out. There were many other times I nearly ended it - all to do with a kind of ex girlfriend of his. I have no idea if he ever wanted to end it with me, probably! Then we obviously ended completely earlier this year after about two and half years 'officially' together! We actually met in November 08 and admitted we liked each other at the beginning of 2009. Then it took 9 months to properly get together LOL. Oh how I miss being an emotional 14 year old. Being an emotional 18 year old sucks. If you want an update on how I have been about the breakup, I have been fantastic! April and May were probably the worst two months of my life, not even exaggerating. I have never cried so much. It was just a shock no longer speaking to the guy I was absolutely devoted to. Three years of my life I spent daydreaming about him!! And then he got a bloody new girlfriend straight away! But it's all done with now and I've moved on from it, I did email him the other week to get my camera's receipt, but that is the most I have spoke to him. I don't think we'll ever speak again, which I am fine with now, I'm happy for him and want him to get on with his life, and I want to get on with mine too :)
Anyway guys I'm going to take another break away from here! (I had one about 6 months ago for about 2 weeks - I guess blogging for 6 months is all I can handle) I'm just feeling a bit bored with the posts I'm doing and I'm just generally feeling lazy with my blog, so if I have a break, I know I'll start to miss it and will come up with some ideas to write about :) I've also got quite a lot of books to be reading for university and I'm trying to finish doing my room!
Please do lots of posts for me to read!
& I'll post my monthly vlog and new Tuesday topic stuff when I'm back :)
& I'll post my monthly vlog and new Tuesday topic stuff when I'm back :)
Jazz
Reminds me so much of my diary entries when I was around the same age - I totally get what you say about every entry being about him, as mine were too - i'd start every page by writing CE (his initials) in school. and if "CE" were ever not in school it was always a BAD day - I was serioulsy obsessed with this guy right from having my first kiss with him at 13 (typically behind the school bike sheds of all places!)right up until i was around 16 or 17 - i went out with twice during those years and i think he's all I ever thought about (and wrote about too!). Funny, I can't even remember now when the last time was I saw him, YEARS ago now, I have no idea where he lives or whatever happened to him.
ReplyDeleteReading your diary posts really makes me want to go in to the attic and dig out my old diaries - I plan to sit down with a glass of wine, stick on some of my old "NOW" albums on tape from those years (think they are like NOW 27 - 29!) just to really get in to the mood and have a good old laugh at myself and what i wrote! :)
I get what you mean about having a little blogging break - don't stay away too long though as you'll be missed! Take care xx
Sometimes a break is needed, take care x
ReplyDeletethis completely reminds me off a guy i used to date on/off for a few years, now we're really good friends! enjoy your break, i look forward to your return! xxx
ReplyDeleteHA! This is crazy! Cannot believe you've been with him so long and you're so young. Love ya Jazz!
ReplyDelete