Bored already.

I didn't even make it to Saturday.

I hated college, and right now I am missing it. What the hell? I think this gross weather is definitely the cause. I woke around 10am and it was pouring down. It is now 5.33pm and it is the same rain. It has not stopped. The results of this crappy weather = I am still in my pyjamas and have found my way back to bed. Disgusting, I know. But hey, I'm not even a student anymore. I am an unemployed, bored of life, grumpy teenage girl. Pyjama days are bees knees. And I printed off 30 CVs yesterday using my remaining college printing credits, and every single one of them printed out wrong. It didn't bother me yesterday but today I feel like I could storm up to the college printer and gauge it's fucking ink out. Urgh. (Sorry quite a bit of cursing in this post...)

This weather has also made me reflect on some things. I realised I haven't properly spoken to one of my 'close' friends since March. Yeah I've text her every now and then, but lets face it, you can only have a really good conversation in person. I'd made plans to meet her with some other friends, but she's one of those 'cancel at the last minute' kinda people. So I've felt a bit grim about that.

Then I watched Toy Story 3 this afternoon and God, it's just so emotional. It's one of those film series that you just feel so attached to. Because you know, I grew up watching them films, then Andy just gives his toys away at the end. Urgh, why does life do this to me? It's so tragic. I feel really bad for my favourite rag dolls (which were like my set of toys, like Andy's set of toys), and they're just squashed in a box in my wardrobe. What if they are alive? They won't even be able to breathe! Agh.

Then I made the stupid idea of going through my keepsakes from my relationship with Matt. I still have no idea what to do with all that shit. It feels wrong to throw it away, but it's taking up room. What the hell do I do!? I got a little emotional and angry reading the cards off him.. "I will never leave you Jazz, I love you xxx", yeah fuck you! Did not like being with you at the end anyway. Woooah I just heard the gate fly open, this wind is getting pretty angry.

Hm, I think my problem is I feel a little lonely lately. Why am I even writing this? Lets move on.

I found some of my school art exam pieces the other day, and I thought I would share them with you, because I am so damn proud of them and enjoy showing them off. I'm crap at everything else in life so if someone purposely makes me feel like a piece of dog crap, then I can throw my art work in their face and say TAKE THAT. Try and attempt that bitch. (Looking at them now they look so bad, but for a 15 year old with shaky hands, they're pretty good.)

The one on the left was my final and was to do with bullying (it looks small but it's pretty big). The stuff on the sleeve is song lyrics to do with bullying/abuse etc, and my hand was soooo dead after writing it all. The one on the right is so bad it's laughable! But it's Audrey Hepburn if you can't tell. Sorry Audrey, kind of ruined your looks I'm afraid.

Urgh my blogging motivation is at rock bottom right now. I am just chatting complete shit. I have no idea what to write about anymore. Here is the view from my bed now. 

This does not even show how bad the weather is. The webcam does not like to pick up up rain or wind. It's bloody gross out. I hate you England.

If I never come back on here, you know the English weather has completely defeated me and my bed has swallowed me alive.

Jazz